Global warming coming ... eventually

Then, while stashing the non-perishable canned goods behind the furnace, filling the bathtub with fresh potable water and phoning the school to call the kids home, you arrived at the fifth paragraph of the story, in which it was further reported that the ice sheet collapse "is not imminent and may not occur for centuries."

This is what's known, in our business, as "burying the details," or "getting published."

Climate protestors threaten to shut down London’s carbon market - Carbon Offsets Daily

London, 5 February: After attracting thousands of climate protestors to the Kingsnorth power station and Heathrow airport, the Camp for Climate Action has turned its sights on leading carbon trading platform, the European Climate Exchange (ECX).

The campaign group has called for action on 1 April, a day ahead of the G20 summit in London, and is promising to shut down ECX to “highlight the link between the financial crisis and the climate crisis”. Its website urges protestors to meet outside ECX’s London office and “bring a pop-up tent, sleeping bag, wind turbine, mobile cinema, action plans and ideas … let’s imagine another world.”
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The group argues that carbon trading makes no contribution to the reductions needed in greenhouse gas emissions. It states: “In 2009, the Camp for Climate Action has decided that it is time to camp against the over-arching problem: absolute faith in unfettered markets and endless economic growth.”

Get out your carbon ration book - Carbon Offsets Daily

Leading proponent, the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce (RSA), which has developed CarbonDAQ (a virtual carbon trading site for personal allowances) reckons we’re on course for individual carbon budgets in 10 years’ time.

Yes, within a decade you could be making space in your wallet for another Nectar-style reward card that will clock every purchase, flight and lightbulb you buy and deduct them from your given carbon allowance. Or perhaps the chip will just be implanted in your forehead so you can run that through a head-height checkout in the fulfilment of the Orwellian nightmare that detractors envision.