If you're tired of the Ivory-bill controversy, why not just "escape" for a while with a good bird-related movie?
I recommend this one.
Trump wins — “This will be the golden age of America”
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I always thought that "bird tourism" was an idea that "bird promotors" foisted on hapless folks out there struggling to find a way to bring "tourism dollars" to backwaters like brinkley ... but I never thought about the stupid like fox residents of swamp land figuring out how to actually bring the circus to town ... area 51 style. I guess this eliminates the evil twin theory. Now we have the malicious restraunteur hypothesis ... no wonder they were so quick to brand the ivory bill burger ...
A Google search for "'ivory-billed woodpecker' tourism" produces over 26 thousand results. No indication yet if people in Arkansas are posting signs saying "This Way to the Egress".
Here's the IMDB Entry for Rare Birds. A definite must rent.
I must say, despite all of the hoopla, I've always wanted to visit the White River area of Arkansas. All the fuss over possible Ivory-bills has reminded me of that.
Yes I'm bored. So I leave you with this bit of doggerel called "Ode to an Ivory-billed"
Oh if I could see
A woodpecker in a tree
I would run to the nearest hill
And cry I see the bill
And if that bill were white
I’d climb with all my might
To the top of a bigger hill still
“Elvis Lives” I’d shout
And people from all about
Would praise me high and low
For I would be the one you know
Who had a chance at all that fame
The DVD would bring acclaim
Cause I would have the video
But then I’d see nature’s conservancy
Climbing the higher hill to see
If perhaps in all that habitat
Tis possible to fleece another fat cat
What a mess
I confess
Just twenty dollars a DVD
You are the most cynical bunch of people...
Okay, here's another cynical time waster. Let's come up with titles for the book that will be written about this whole episode:
(these ideas should be credited to others who will remain nameless)
"Fools in the Woods"
"4 Pixels to Glory"
"Lord God! What a Mistake!"
"The Lord God Pixel"
"The 3 second Ivory-Bill
(aka the 10 second Pileated)"
"The Flying Bicolored Wing"
"Trailing Edge: and nothing more"
Those are not titles to the book! That's a great free form poem if you will remove the quotes.
Read it in poetry slam style and it's great!
"Desperate Ornithologists"
"A Farewell to Logic"
"Gullible's Travels"
"It's a Wonderful Branch Stub"
Is it true that IBWO actually stands for "Intellectually biased white ornithologists"?
If so I believe there have been a number of IBWO sightings in Arkansas recently.
A Pecker's View
Carry me down to the forest I love
Carry my soul to similar land above
Yes, bury my body in the places I miss
Just keep me out of the clutches of Fitz
Woodpecker's Prayer
Woodpecker in Heaven,
let your holy self be seen,
let your visage come,
and not only to some,
and please! on earth rather than heaven.
Give us today the sight that we need,
and forgive us our misidentifications,
as we forgive those
who have misidentified others.
Do lead us into swamps,
but save us from elvis.
A musical ... Fitz sees some Fuzz ... with my apologies to Dr. Seuss ... peer review be damned.
CITIZENS OF THE BIG WOODS
Ivory Bill ow wah dah
Ivory Bill ow who wah dah dah dah
Ivory Bill ow wah dah
Ivory Bill ow who wah dah
Ivory Bill ow wah dah
Ivory Bill ow who wah dah dah dah
Ivory Bill ow wah dah
Ivory Bill ow who wah dah
Ivory Bill ow wah dah
Ivory Bill ow who wah dah dah dah
Ivory Bill ow wah dah
Ivory Bill ow
CAT
Now think of a kayaker paddling through.
CITIZENS OF THE BIG WOODS
Ivory Bill ow wah dah
Ivory Bill ow who wah dah dah dah
BOY (spoken)
Gallagher!
CAT
Yes, Gallagher!
CAT & BOY
Laneau films the bird!!
GALLAGHER
On the fifteenth of May
In the BIG WOODS of Nool
In the heat of the day,
In the cool of the pool,
He was splashing
BIG WOODS CITIZENS
Splash!
GALLAGHER
Enjoying the BIG WOODS's great joys
When Fitzpatrick the Scientist
BOY
Fitzpatrick the Scientist
BIRD GIRLS, ALL
Fitzpatrick the Scientist
GALLAGHER
Heard a small noise.
MAYOR (Offstage, distant and tiny)
Help! Help! Bring tourists to town
BIRD GIRL #1
So Gallagher stopped splashing
He looked toward the sound
GALLAGHER
That's funny.
BIRD GIRLS
Thought Gallagher-
GALLAGHER
There's no one around.
BIRD GIRL #3
Then he heard it again
BIRD GIRL #2
Just a very faint double knock BAM bam.
GALLAGHER
As if some brown creeper were calling for help
MAYOR (Offstage, distant and tiny)
Help! Help!
GALLAGHER
I'll help you
BIRD GIRLS
Said Gallagher
GALLAGHER
But who are you, and where?
BIRD GIRLS
He looked and he looked.
BIRD GIRLS, GALLAGHER
He could see nothing there
But a pixel of black and pixel of white …
Blowing past...
(All follow the pixels with their eyes, as it shoots past and stops in front of GALLAGHER.)
GALLAGHER, BIRD GIRLS
Through the air.
GALLAGHER
I say! How confusing!
I've never heard tell
Of a black and white pixels that can’t a pileated be …
So you know what I think?
Why I think that there must be the lord god bird on that film there.
The last one left since 50 odd years
Who's shaking with fear
That he'll blow in the pool!
He has no way to steer!
He's alone in the universe!
I'll just have to save him
Because after all,
An Ivory Bill’s and Ivory Bill, no matter how de interlaced.
A Ivory Bill’s an Ivory Bill no matter how-
GALLAGHER BIG WOODS CITIZENS
Pixelated ... Ivory Bill ow wah dah
Ivory Bill ow who wah dah dah dah
Ivory Bill ow wah dah
who who
BIRD GIRLS # 1,2,3
So, gently, and using
The greatest of care,
The Lord God Bird stretched
His great wing in the air,
And he landed in Science
And on NPR
And in the woods were spared …
GALLAGHER (spoken)
Safe!
BIRD GIRLS
Along with AUK, the Labrador Duck and the Dodo.
(THE SOUR SIBLEY makes an impressive entrance.)
William Hurt !!!
I'd rather have root canal work done.
"Bobby Harrison: The Rise and Fall of an Ivory-billed Stringer"
There once was a video bird
Whose fieldmarks were fully obscured.
So they squinted and guessed,
And imagined the rest.
Thus the truth, like the image, was blurred.
p.d., Ann Arbor, MI
I'm bokmarking this sight under poetry.
(not a bad thing) AUK
I'm an active scientist and publish regularly. I believe the paper is SCIENCE originally reporting the IBWP should have never been published.... interesting discussion about photo's and noises BUT nothing proving that they found a bird that was declared extinct. Some alternatives that can NOT be ruled out and are just as viable explanations:
1. Some one brought a similar species (Cuba) back and let it go when they go tired of it. Go to Florida, its loaded with all sorts of birds, snakes, etc that people let loose in the wild after they grow tired of them as pets.
2. Its another species of woodpecker (the pic's I've seen are NOT definitive). A significant question should be raised - we live in an age of electronics, zoom lenses, etc. the Editor and reviewers should have *demanded* better pictures. Eighteen sighting and this is the best they got? You have to raise questions about why? Aren’t they skilled bird photographers? If they are “elusive” and you can’t get a good picture, how can you identify them from visual sightings (isn’t this an oxymoron?)?
3. Why didn't Cornell take a couple of grad students or hire some respected birders to find the nests? Give them a year - Full time - they should be able to do it. With IR sensors and working at night, they could have combed that whole area and found nests. When these IBWP peck at a tree – and they’ve been spotted doing it – wouldn’t they leave behind DNA evidence? Was there an attempt to get any?
4. Has anyone spotted any since? Gotten better photos? Found any physical evidence? That was 2004, its 2006 - 2 years is plenty of time to have an outside source confirm the sightings (i.e. how long did it take for cold fusion to be proved/disproved??).
5. If the author was at another institution, say NE South Dakota State Uni (a fictional institution), and mailed in the identical paper with the identical data, it would have been returned without going out to review – because it is poor science.
More so than an extinct bird, this is about scientific credibility of our establishment. Anyone can get overly excited about the possibility that they found something new and exciting – but it is the responsibly of the editors and reviewers to keep that enthusiasm properly channeled.
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