An excerpt:
...My interest was rekindled this week when Dianne and I attended a preview of an upcoming documentary about the possible rediscovery of the mythical bird. Since Cornell is very active in researching the possibility of the birds continued existence, Dianne was asked to attend the screening and associated reception. I think she was surprised when I wanted to tag along. It was held at the stuffy Kiplinger Washington Editors Gallery just up the street from the White House. The full theatrical release, scheduled for 2007, is directed by the same guy who did some of the IMAX films being shown at the Smithsonian. The director of the Cornell Ornithology Lab talked some about sightings of the bird. Unfortunately, I don't have the $25,000.00 they asked to be a share holder in the movie's production, but if they find and document this woodpecker, that 25 grand share will be good as gold. I chuckled during the talk when they spoke of the "blue collar interest" in the story...
Posts
12 comments:
Perhaps we can pool our resources, buy some shares in the film, and write the script to reflect reality? For 25k a share, I wonder how many shares we need to get script approval. It sure beats spending $1M for "intriging" sounds!
Methinks maybe, like the "Producers", they are planning a flop.
I hear Cornell has a special designation for anyone providing $25K. They are officially a "Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology Donor”. That way they can go to the film’s opening and state “I’m one of the CLODs who funded this epic”.
Of course also in attendance will be people who can say they were one of the CLOWNs (Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology Woodpecker Naturalist) that took part in the search.
BTW, I’m still wondering what the "blue collar interest" in this story might be – and what anyone from Cornell would know about anything that is “blue collar”.
"You Skeptics need a life"
I have a life
It is my wife
She won’t let me go
Because she doth know
That if I do see
A hole in a tree
Then I will stay there
Until comes a pair
Of Carpinterios
Who with their blows
Will have announced
That I have trounced
That lazy Fitzpatrick
With my crazy hat trick
Including a hole, a male
And also a female
It would of made me famous
But Science would not publish
They say they have been burnt
It’s a lesson they have learnt
So you see I have a life
It is here with my wife
CLODS! What a hoot.
I really don't care if the IBWO is alive or dead. But I do have to say there are some smart folks on this blog.
Is this entire blog a practical joke? Is Tom Wolfe posting this whole thing under psuedonym "Tom Nelson"?
The writing, poetry, etc is just too good to be a bunch of non-believers, isn't it?
25K - WOW!! Wonder what they would have requested if they
had actually found an Ivory-bill?
We've got poets,
We've got comedians,
We've got brains.
They've got money,
They've got media,
They've got books and movies,
They've got a fanatical following;
They've got First Tier, Second Tier, Third Tier, et al
No idea where I'm going with this but like the person said CLODs is a hoot and our poets are really good.
25K - WOW!! Wonder what they would have requested if they
had actually found an Ivory-bill?
___________________________
Great stuff!
Of course also in attendance will be people who can say they were one of the CLOWNs (Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology Woodpecker Naturalist) that took part in the search!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________
CLOWN's and CLOD's!!!
HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's just too true!!!! Anyone still willing to keep this deal going after all that has happen, or sould one say NOT happen has to be a True CLOWN at heart. And anyone willing to pull 25K out of their pockets to finance a documentary about the biggest flop in science in the twenth century would have to have CLOD's for brains.
I can see it now. Blue Collar people lined up for miles to spend good hard earned money to see a film about how Millions of their Tax dollars were spent to find nothing! Only CLOWN's & CLOD's could think this would happen. But one must remember this are also the same people who believe there are flocks of Peckerwoods!!!!!
I thought someone was joking about the whole "film" thing ... but from what I can tell from this posting is that this film thing is being held by cornell and they are sending out emails to alumni to come attend the cornell event.
So Fitzcrow went from riding on a Gulfstream with Marshall Field, to speaking to random Cornell alumni invited to "get togethers" ... wherein they openly ask for people to pony up 25K (with the kicker that this thing is a slam dunk IF they find the woodpecker) ... and they they lay on the line that this thing appeals to nascar fans in red-state america?
This is tailspin time for CLO this is the work of a bungling staffer - they have handed the looking for woodpeckers over to kids and the fundraising over to people with no rolodex.
Did Fitzcrow really speak at this event?
I think we must need a code phrase for when we are really not joking, since most of what CLO is doing is a joke. If I may, allow me to sugest we post CLOWN ALERTS to separate our predictions and prognostications from CLOs actual chowderheaded goofy moves.
Oh, BTW, who will play Fitzcrow, Bobby, Tim , Martjon etc?
And when do we start working on our own screenplay....
Scene: Late night, darkened study, coffee cups litter the disheveled room, the blue glow of the computer screen is the only light. We pan across the desk - binoculars, a compass, scraps of maps and post-its with nothes on them lie in piles. Typing typing typing is all we hear - the typer stops - we pan up to see his face for the first time. He gazes at the screen, lips moving slightly as he reads, he removes his glasses, wipes his eyes - re reads.
It is Tim reding Gene's blog post. The kayacker has seen a big woodpecker, we read the post over his sholder.
His hands begin to tremble, he reaches for the phone, reconsiders, reaches again and dials.
"Hello" says the voice on the phone.
"Hi, Fitz, Tim here. This guy in Arkansas with no experience says he may have seen an Ivory-bill. Can you make the biggest mistake of your career and give me carte blanche to go down and confirm it?"
"Sure Tim, it'll go great with your new book contract - besides, I've been looking for early retirement. Oh, if you find anything, it is all on the hush-hush - the QT. We need to take TNC and USFWS down with us, and you'll have to delay publication of your book, and you'll have to sign a confidentiality agreement and..."
So the big question is can Cornell’s marketing department come up with a title that is worthy of a film that documents the “conservation story of the century” and is able to attract the attention of all of the CLODs needed to fund the film?
Some of the more obvious titles have already been taken:
Without a Trace
Sex, Lies and Videotape
(Well, two out of three isn’t bad)
Telling Lies in America
Fortune and Men’s Eyes
And with one or two more field seasons with no sightings they can do a sequel:
Much Ado about Nothing
or
Reversal of Fortune
They should be able to pull off a film on limited funds. If the cinematography is handled by Luneau they can save on casting ("all six pixel humans look alike") and they clearly have had the "creative team" in place for a number of years.
I still like "Lord God What a Mistake" for the title.
Post a Comment