Friday Funny: MAD SCIAM MAGAZINE
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13 comments:
If you chase an idiot
Over hill and dale
Scaring the bejesus
Out of every White-tail
Only to discover
That listening in the trees
For deer on the ground
Will produce Ivory Bills
Enough to astound
Then wouldn’t it be more efficient
To listen on the ground
For the birds in the air
By releasing the deerhounds?
Marcus B. asks:
In Ornithological History, has there ever been such a scenario. I'd love to know.
The scenario:
A belief/fanaticism that IBWO breeding populations exist in Texas, Louisiana, Florida, and Arkansas. A belief based upon poor, circumstantial evidence.
Never mine that the last documented, uncontested sighting is April 1944.
Random thoughts:
Is Audubon completely off their rocker.
At least the BigFoot believers have a sense of humor.
Will the Auburn graduate students pass their thesis based on the IBWO study?
Should Professor Hill lose his tenure, ok because he's a nice guy he keeps it.
Can we find a media outlet besides the Chicago Tribune that knows how to write an objective, insightful story.
Should Fitzcrow send a major donation to Professor Hill.
Should CLO, Auburn, Fishcrow, and Texas write a book and therefore win the media war.
Will Cornell or Auburn ever admit their enthusiasm and lack of rigor made them go from doe to dough to "DOH!"
Always best to ruminate a bit before publishing when ungulates might be involved.
That Collins and Holliday article may be the single most appalling piece of propaganda I've yet read from any IBWO peddler.
We believe that we or someone else will eventually provide undisputable proof of the species existence and it might well come from Texas. Eventually we believe the species will be documented along several river courses in Texas.
Hey, Collins and Holliday, how about putting your money where your mouths are?
A special offer for you two: five to one odds says you are full of crap. Pony up $1,000 and you'll be $5,000 richer next October 11 if the IBWO woodpecker is clearly not extinct at that time, i.e., if definitive objective proof of the bird's continued existence is presented.
On the other hand, if reality continues to maintain its hold on our universe and the IBWO remains as extinct as the dodo, you owe me $1,000.
What say you, "gentlemen"? Do you have the guts to show us the true strength of your convictions?
Or are you just "daring" to peddle garbage and then "daring" to pretend that you aren't doing so?
One of Arvin's papers mentions ivory-billeds in Cuba in the mid-80s. Why do they keep spouting that tired lie? There's literally less evidence from there than Arkansas or Florida.
From the second link comes this pargaraph of pure drivel:
Several interesting cavities have been located and marked for future surveillance. ....Rather than spend a lot of observer time watching a suspect cavity we may be able to borrow a time-lapse video camera to set up on interesting looking cavities or other woodpecker sign such as bark-scaling.
Why not just get your lazy butt up the damn tree and look inside the frigging "interesting" cavity for feathers or eggs or something like that? What exactly is the problem?
I wonder if Arvin knows that real scientists who are interested in understanding the real world and not promoting garbage actually invest serious effort to find answers to their questions. There are scientists, for example, who study the biota of tropical rainforest canopies and the bottom of the ocean.
And yet these worshippers of the idea of a living Lord God Bird can't even be bothered to climb a damn tree.
That's truly pathetic.
http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/10/11/colombia.bird.reut/index.html
BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) -- A multicolored bird with reddish-brown and black eyes has been discovered as a new species in a Colombian cloud forest accessible only by helicopter, scientists say.
Let me guess: this discovery was based on some scribblings by a 20 year old guide and some "mysterious calls" in the background of a recorded cell phone call.
"A special offer for you two: five to one odds says you are full of crap."
Wait, hold it, Amy. You've gone a bet too far.
We're talking Fishcrow here. He will never ever concede that IBWOs don't exist. Heck, he'll look over the photos from those two Mars Rovers and find one, or two!
Amy, there's no end game on this bet. One doesn't bet with loony tunes.
Ablah, ablah, ablaw....that's all folks!
Finally!
The attention is turning to my man, John Arvin, and the Texas search.
Can IBWO confirmation be far behind?
Signed,
TB
It is amazing the lengths that some of these grant-proposal-writing southern birders will go to ensure themselves a paying job for the months or years ahead. And, on the other end of the stick, it is amazing how gullible those who dispense those grants really are. But then, that's what they do; give away money. They justify their jobs by giving away the loot to the grant-proposal writer. Save the Ivorybills, save the swamps, save the pygmy whales, as long as it has a touchy-feely quality to it....It's the Federal Ivorybill Candy Wagon! Next stop: Texas. All you believers get your camo suits and jump on board!
Is "Amy Lester" a pseudonym or does she really exist? Unless there is uncontrovertible proof that she really exists, methinks all bets are off.
It's amazing that people will question whether Amy Lester is real, but readily accept that Auburn and CLO saw Ivory-billeds.
It's Bizzaro world.
Is "Amy Lester" a pseudonym or does she really exist? Unless there is uncontrovertible proof that she really exists, methinks all bets are off.
Nice try, pd.
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