Friday Funny: MAD SCIAM MAGAZINE
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4 comments:
Foundation Goals:
I. Establish a principle fund to:
A. Provide salaries for full time searcher/researchers
B. Provide research budget
C. Provide operating budget
Man, were we asleep at the wheel, or what? That Bobby’s like the southern rube from the TV commercial that takes your money by selling Ingles’ produce from his roadside stand.
This is what our great capitalistic country is about – fleecing everyone to line our pockets.
We skeptics need to create our own foundation! It could be IBWO Busters, we could use great IBWO decals in a circle with a red bar through it for T-shirts, hats, etc – even emblazon the sides of our foundation vehicles with them.
Then we create mobile field teams to visit search areas and record everything. After we get enough money for equipment, of course.
And we could go a step farther and create two-person hotshot teams, ready to hit the road at a moment’s notice to verify IBWO sightings.
We could use the actual alpha code – IBWO – and the real name – ivory-billed (sorry, Tom). This should separate us from current searchers and give us a leg-up in garnering donations from the scientific community.
Another segment of likely donors would be all those landowners alluded to in one of the postings who would shoot-shovel-and shut up if they encounter an IBWO on their property. They might readily allow someone who would only show the facts.
And that would be another great hook – post all those pictures of pileateds gathered from remote cameras situated at the most promising IBWO foraging and nesting sites. It seems Cornell and Auburn are too busy tracking ivory-bills (sic) to have time to post the ones they have.
We could hit Ark., Carolina, and Fla. and not worry about not being invited to search on public land as we would be a public (501 c-3) entity. Or perhaps, we should set up our own perimeters and insist that current searchers confine their bumbling ineptness to their designated search areas.
And since we are a heartbeat behind Bobby’s efforts, I would altruistically offer my services as field search leader. I already have 4X4 and a canoe, binoculars, spotting scope, recorder, GPS and a couple of cameras that actually work that I could lease to the foundation. I would only request a livable wage $60K or so and might suggest that we hire someone bird savvy like saaaay birdchick to be my personal assistant.
Man, I can’t believe we didn’t think of this sooner.
"...and the real name – ivory-billed..."
Sorry, Don. I must have missed some recent memo dictating that the term "ivory-bill" is no longer acceptable.
Note that Jackson's book uses "ivory-bill" a very large number of times, as do some of your own articles on the subject...
Tom - I didn't say it wasn't acceptable - and perhaps I have fallen victim to the "lowest common denominator" - I was simply saying that to put IBWO Busters on an elevated plane we should refer to the bird as an ivory-billed - its ornithological common name.
Sorry, Don. I must have missed some recent memo dictating that the term "ivory-bill" is no longer acceptable.
Ivory-billed Woodpecker is accepted as the proper common name by both ABA and AOU*. "Ivory-bill" certainly may be acceptable, but it is more similar to other shorthand / slang names like Pac Loon, Less-back, Sharpie, Coop, Gos, Uppie, Red Phal, W-B Nut, Butter Butt, Maggie, Clay-color, and on and on.
*I'm not sure, but ABA may always accept the AOU's decision on common names. I know they do for scientific names.
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