Thanks to climate change, Thanksgiving is OVER | Grist
NO turkey: Like all meat, turkey’s been made more expensive by this summer’s nasty drought. Also, rising temperatures are driving the wild turkeys towards Canada, where they don’t even celebrate Thanksgiving. (Well, OK, they celebrate a Thanksgiving.)
NO mashed potatoes: If substituting baked bananas for baked potatoes sounded bad, just think about substituting mashed bananas for mashed potatoes. (Potential upside: Bananas make kick-ass ice cream, and we’ll all be sweating in November, anyway.)
NO CRANBERRY SAUCE: Cranberries need to freeze over winter. Even the ones that make the stuff that comes from the can.
NOOOOO PUUUUUMPKIN PIEEEEEEEE: When the weather gets weird, pumpkin crops get unreliable.